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Will I catch him if he is alive? Vekerdy ​​answers


Can a baby be tempted if he is always arms crossed and not allowed to sleep? Tamás Vekerdy ​​responds to a request from a desperate mother.

Will I catch him if he is alive? Vekerdy ​​answers

I am, more or less, desperate. I am 28 years old, a graduate of polytechnics, and just graduated from College of Education. Perhaps that is why I suffer a slight failure to know what to do with my current situation. Last January, we decided with the prayer that our baby could come to an end that year. As soon as the little beasts were waiting for it, he conceived. Zsolt gave birth to a cesarean section due to her heavy weight after a smooth pregnancy. Our unrestrained fortune was overshadowed by a very intense abdominal period of the first three months, but one day passed to the other. there was plenty of hand, lying on his stomach, sleeping on our arms, sleeping on our chest to this day. In the evening we put her down in her own baby crib, and she was never in trouble with her sleep at night, she just woke up sucking, she went back to sleep unhindered, and does the same to outsiders often described as "extremely motherly", "captured", and most sadly "hysterical." Zsolt is a nice kind, age-advancing body and soul, intensively exploring the environment and looking for baby to discover. She suckles twice in the morning, in the evening, and at night. Our family's big, tiny early hour is a long way away, you can say hand to hand, everyone takes it, but if he found me, always wanting to come to me. This is where the trouble begins. In our big city apartment, as soon as I leave the room, it starts to get horrible. Sхt! I don't even have to leave the room, either when I put it down on my carpet or I'm just standing next to it, there is a huge flush that only disappears when I pick it up again. Even though I talk to her loudly in the kitchen, she stirs herself in the urine and only stops when I pick it up, grace it, calm it down, stroke it. (Even though I still sniff a lot, my heart will split!) We do not experience this behavior in the village, with our parents, I think probably because we are out in the air almost every day during the weekends and during the holidays. we walk, get to know the animals, and play in the huge lawn. Of course, I've tried to let it run. He never stopped it at that time - or I couldn't wait. He sleeps after me, stands up next to my foot and stretches his little arm or makes me feel sorry for and pick it up. This is when I always have a childhood feeling. I was crying very, very much out of myself, but my mother didn't do what I asked for, after all I cried "she doesn't like me at all. I wanted to reassure him, instead he left me hollering, shouting at me from outside, finally giving me an eye medication ... Of course, I've heard a lot about the opposite parenting principle, which leaves the child alone to learn how to "be" and "solve the problem himself." he cannot count on his parents, to those you most expect to be understood and reassured as they rely on them, especially your mother! I was terribly appalled that some people applied it and still advertise fashion hubby. How long does it take? In our case, is this a profound manifestation? Or maybe it's not that wide-ranging? Then why is my environment constantly signaling the hysteria of this equally calm and kind child? Am I doing something wrong? Do I like to bind monkeys? Are there any? Too much physical contraction, kissing games, of course, I also have to heal, iron, and cook, but at the same time, I can't keep it steady in my hands. I don't think a child can be overexposed, yes? Is it really just a very maternal, strong bodily contraction that will subside? Will I lose weight fast if I don't pick it up right away? And now this status is really natural, how do I feel? What should I do? Or what should I do? "

Vekerdy ​​Tambs Selects:

Everything important, sir, that's why I've been quoting for so long.
I think: you do what you do. Zsolti was not caught, he was not hysterical, not "too mother in law." Yes, there is a fear of separation, and it is followed by other kinds of fear, it is good to provide security, not to spoil anything, on the contrary… Jean Liedloff kцnyvйt. Cnme: The Lost Happiness in the Wake, sub-Cme: The Continuum Principle. Liedloff spent two and a half years with the Jekan Indians in South America and examined how children living there - from muscle tone to everyday behavior - what are so balanced, and they are constantly cheerful, good-humored.He had to wonder that this is rooted in infancy and toddler are constantly in the middle of the body their mother. In their first, carnal months of life, Jekanese children are strapped to their mothers all day long - and they go everywhere - when mothers work. , in complete peace of mind. The kids, when the time comes, pick themselves out of the cloth and start playing safe and lost and restored. According to Liedloff, the civilized man has forgotten or does not dare to listen to his senses. He doubts that he has instincts and that his senses - for example, in the mother-child relationship - are more reliable than his intellect. Liedloff goes on to say that babies have no place in the intellect when it comes to babysitting. her mother also had a constant physical connectionthat babies enjoy and want. (A mother can be replaced by someone she is just as trusted and equally well-known.) Children are born into and continue to develop human, biological experience it is wrong to take them out. In order for the continuum's need to be enforced, "the main obstacle to this is to see that we have children and, consequently, have the right to punish us the way we think, or because they don't want to let them cry without pain in their pain, "says Liedloff. And he asks, "But is it right for every mother to be given the freedom to neglect her child, to slap her if she wants to feed when she likes, to let her sleep in her room, on days, and by nature, would you like to be there in the thick of life? "The life of the Jekan children has been around since the New Age full of events. "An infant can look beyond the maternal world when all the protection and instinctive power of the extracurricular experience has been given to the fullest extent ..." with natural self-indulgence very quickly develops "deep and complete proficiency". Because the child's newborn age is safe on the one hand, and on the other hand is constantly connected with the noises of the world, the movements, the rhythm of the day and the night, and the body's - if he could rely on his mother before, he could trust him. "Current fashion may dictate that we let the baby cry until he drowns, still give up, freezing, and finally having a baby. (…) A new school is just now teaching us to leave the child emotionally, not to write, unless it is very necessary and we should not show any facial expressions. You should not express your smile, smile, or wonder, just look at the baby with an expressionless face. (…) The baby has become almost the kind of hostile that the mother has to overcome. Anything that is picked up by your senses, stimulates and enriches your mind. It does not interfere with wheezing, lightning, dog barking, dehydration, dehydration, or flushing. it would be scary or if the stimuli affecting your senses would not change for too long.) In this situation, the child can always "feel good", and when the child is brought up to clean the room, the toddler should , neither does he sense that he is self-sacrificed, but the environment in which he trusts shows that possible action which one is right between you… So once again: you do what you do, believe in yourself - and in your child - and by no means give in to your desperation! Further interesting questions and answers The parent asks the psychologist to answer 2. c. kцnyvben.Related articles in parenting: